I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
