I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
