I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
