what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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