Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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