It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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