Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
