also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize