just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have tasted many bathrooms
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