I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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