Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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