It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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