you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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