I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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