FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
