Only a mothe r could love this liver
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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