Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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