On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
