Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
