Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize