i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
