The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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