exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
