Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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