i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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