I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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