Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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