Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
