you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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