I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
