I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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