Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
