dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
