id be glad to
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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