and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
