i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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