I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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