Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
