I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
