I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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