I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my shit smells like andre
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize