i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
