I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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