why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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