dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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