ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cockslap morals
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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