Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize