are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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