i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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