Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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