I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Randomize
