When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
