guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
