You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
