went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
