Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i think my cat just said my name.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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