i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
