I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you still have your period?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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