just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
