first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
