i permit you to call me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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