i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
where are you?
Hypothermia
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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