Me. At least after what I've been through.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize