the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Found your dick twin last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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