He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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