that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
