Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
