Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
