You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize