I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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