wakey wakey hands off snakey
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
