So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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