STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
