He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
