He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My hand turned me down
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize