just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
