dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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