i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
