coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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