adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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