I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
