I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
