What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
