Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
