swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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