i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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