I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
