Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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