I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize